ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
