Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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