There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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