awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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