her vagine was all disorganized.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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