If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
