i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
