i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
