he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
