You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
