I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
