omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
