The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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