my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
