Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
