once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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