My nipple is on Facebook.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
