i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your penis caused this!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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