I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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