***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
