We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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