Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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