I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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