That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize