I need help removing her.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Randomize