I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
