And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
