id be glad to
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
