Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
