Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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