i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Pants are for mortals
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize