Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
