I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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