i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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