Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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