I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
