i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
