dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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