So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
