I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
