Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
