I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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