Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
