I think I am morally bankrupt
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
