We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
