So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
