It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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