someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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