that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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