found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
