at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
