Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize