We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
