I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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