the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
