i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
