What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
