Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
