I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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