maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
