Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
