I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
